31 & Thriving.

I really want to be what it is to embody a Proverbs 31 woman. And I've come to the realization that I'm nowhere near it. A lot of that is because I've never taken the time to actually study it and try to become it. But mostly it's because I haven't been spending enough time with God, the one who gives me identity. I want that to change. I'm just gonna be honest and say that my relationship with Jesus has not really been thriving lately, and I can totally see the effects. It's not like I've been doing anything wrong or struggling with anything in particular, I just haven't been involving my Best Friend in the every day (or any day) aspects of my life. 

Ernest Hemingway once said, 

"Don't confuse movement with action."

Lately I've been doing a whole lot of moving with not a lot of action. I keep saying I want to spend more time with Jesus, but I don't. I keep saying I want to be less stressed and more full of peace, but I don't spend any time with the Holy Spirit. I keep saying I want to walk in my identity, but I haven't spent enough time with my God.

I know it might sound crazy, but sometimes we really do just need that extra little kick in the butt to read our Bible. And it's not like we don't have easy access to one, I mean you can instantly download the bible app to your phone with any version you want!

So after I stopped being a baby about how I don't have time to spend time in the single most important thing in my life, I put the girls down for their afternoon nap, and the cleaning on hold, and just went for it and I read the first three chapters of 1 Corinthians in one sitting (could have read more, but Evie woke up). It was so good!! I got so much out of it. And I really believe the only reason I got so much out of it was because I came to Him in a place of true desperation. Just really understanding that I can't do this on my own. I always want to be in this place of realization that I need Jesus. Because I'm literally nothing without Him. All of those other aspects of becoming more like a Proverbs 31 woman are 100% unachievable if I'm not in constant relationship with Jesus!

And trust me, I've been trying really hard for the past couple months. If you could see how many Google and Pinterest searches I've done lately about "how to do this", "how to be that", I think I would probably more than likely not actually show you because it's so embarrassing.

I mean how do I expect myself to have the patience that I need in order to be a good mommy to my girls if I'm not spending my time with the One who gives peace that surpasses all understanding? How can I expect myself to have self-control in financial situations when I don't even sit down and listen to the Holy Spirit who produces self-control as one of the fruits of the Spirit?

It seems so face-palm worthy that I would even consider trying to live a happy and full life without involving the only one who can give me everything (and I do mean everything, and more) that I need. I NEED JESUS. I've never been so happy to be so desperate over a man. I desperately need Jesus, and I am committing to myself, my loved ones, and even to all who are reading this that I will not forget that!

I want to really thrive to be the daughter of Christ I need to be. I will hone in on these ten things that I believe will get me there slowly but surely:

1. Faith

2. Marriage

3. Mothering

4. Health

5. Servanthood

6. Finances

7. Work

8. Homemaking

9. Time

10. Beauty

I'll be sure to do a review on the devotional. Tell me, what devotionals do you like??